Heart to Heart
by DougieWebster
Summary: A quick one shot about a Sirius and Harry bonding moment during the Christmas holidays at Grimauld place in fifth year. Not slash.


Harry sat on the lumpy green mattress in his and Ron's room at Grimauld Place.

Shoulders slumped, he unenthusiastically packed his bags to return to Hogwarts for the spring term, not moving from his position on the bed. In the last ten minutes he had managed to (kind of) fold three shirts and stuff them in his bag.

For the first time in Harry's memory, he really didn't want to go back to Hogwarts. His awkward kiss with Cho, Umbridge, and OWL's looming ahead made him severely dread leaving the mouldy headquarters.

'Harry- oh there you are, dear!' Mrs Weasley came bustling through the doorway. 'Come on now, even Ron is packed before you. Is there anything the matter, dear?' Mrs Weasley paused for a moment, before becoming distracted with a single sock sticking out from under Ron's bed. 'Hermione!' She called turning to leave, 'I have that missing sock here, where shall I put it?' She shut the door.

'Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks Mrs Weasley.' Harry muttered. He sighed and bowed his head playing with his thumbs.

Harry just hadn't felt right since the incident with Mr Weasley. He still felt as though he couldn't look his best friend in the eye, and he was frustrated at the lack of red heads who he could talk to about the whole thing.

Two knocks sounded at the door. Obviously wasn't a Weasley then, privacy wasn't in their vocabulary.

'Come in.' He meekly called out.

The doorknob turned and a hesitant black dog padded into the room, immediately going to rest his head on Harry's knees.

'Hey Padfoot,' Harry whispered. 'How're you doing?' He stroked the dogs head slowly, strangely comforted by his presence. Padfoot backed away slightly before transforming into his human form, plopping down on the bed next to his godson. Sirius then wrapped one wiry arm around Harry's shoulders and shook him a little bit.

'Your mother would be hounding you to get this packing done young man.' He squeezed Harry's arm. 'And your dad would be jumping around acting like a lunatic trying to distract you.'

A weak smile sprung up on Harry's face. 'And what would you be doing?' Harry asked looking at the floor.

Sirius glanced at his companion in confusion. 'What do you mean?'

'If they were here, what would you be doing?' Harry mumbled.

Sirius thought for a moment. 'Probably still taking them for granted I'm afraid.' Sirius dropped his arm from around Harry and lay back on the bed, his legs dangling off the edge.

'I heard Fred and George loudly joking about a certain young lady at dinner. This wouldn't by any chance be the girl who you asked to the ball last year would it?' Sirius asked lightly. Harry could feel his godfathers eyes burning into the back of his scull. He sighed and lay down next to Sirius.

'When did you have your first kiss Sirius?' He carefully looked up at the ceiling, well away from prying eyes. Sirius turned his head and gazed at his godson's face.

'I was thirteen exactly that day, and I decided that to be a proper teenager I had to kiss someone, so I cornered your mother's friend Marlene, and pecked her in the common room. I was then slapped and left on my own.' He chuckled to himself a bit before asking, 'why do you want to know?'

'Si-ri-us.' Harry whined, 'Your proper first kiss, not a peck.' Harry demanded.

'Fine, fine. I was thirteen years and seven days old exactly, and I decided that I couldn't stand to look stupid in front of anyone, so I dragged Marlene off to an alcove near the common room and kissed her properly. It was a bit of a fumble but we got there in the end.' Harry could hear the smile in Sirius' voice as he recalled this memory. 'Why? Have you kissed Miss Chang?' Harry could hear the smirk in Sirius' voice this time. He flung his arm out to the side and heard a satisfying thud as he hit his godfathers chest with the back of his hand.

Harry groaned. 'My first kiss, and she was crying all the way through it. What does that even mean?' Harry desperately flung his head to the side so he could see his idols reaction.

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows and turned his body so he was resting on one side, propping his head up on one hand.

'Wait, you've only just had your first kiss?' Sirius exclaimed, leaning towards Harry with anticipation. Harry nodded and he furrowed his eyebrows. 'Well... That's okay. Loads of people wait for their first kiss. It doesn't matter.'

'It's not even like I've been waiting though, to save it or anything. I just have never had a chance to or anything. It's like.. It's like people stare and whisper about me, but no one actually approaches me. I wish I was one of those boys who the girls just flock to. Like Fred and George. Or you.' Harry turned his head away as he said this, fiddling with his thumbs again. 'No one bothers noticing me unless it's about something bad.'

'Hey. That's not true Harry James. Look at me.' Harry rolled over onto his side, mirroring Sirius' position. 'Your dad didn't have his first kiss until he was at least 15. And he only ever kissed three girls his whole life and look how happy he was. You don't have to be super popular to be happy. And as far as kids your age go, you are 100% my favourite Harry.' Sirius ruffled his hair, ignoring the rolled eyes. 'If she cried then maybe she's just confused or maybe you're not meant for eachother. One kiss isn't going to ruin your life.'

'You and dad were really popular. And you were happy. I want to be like you' Harry whispered the last bit.

'Harry I really don't think you need to be like me at all. All I did all through school was acted confident. And I was able to because at the time, being pureblood meant something, and I'd been brought up to look down on others and lead. It doesn't matter how many girls I kissed, I'm alone now so it really didn't make any difference. I'd much rather have been kind and caring like you are.' He sat up, pulling his godson with him.

'So what do I do about Cho?' Harry asked.

'If it's awkward then just smile and try and turn it into a friends thing. Find another girl to kiss. But if you still like her then kiss her again sometime. There's no pressure to do either things.' He hugged Harry tightly, then suddenly pushed him to arms length and awkwardly made eye contact. 'You've... You know about all the... Mechanics, don't you?' He stuttered.

Harry's face immediately blushed bright red and ripped himself away from Sirius then he threw himself down on the bed again with his arm over his eyes.

'Si-ri-us. Yes I do please don't give me the talk.' Harry grumbled from under his arm. Sirius let out a doglike bark of laughter and tickled Harry's stomach. He squealed and sat back up.

'I always used to tickle you when you were a baby, you know? Lily shouted at me once for it because you were sick laughing so hard.' Sirius ruffled Harry's hair again. Harry smiled despite the birds nest on top of his head.

As Sirius started to get up Harry stopped him. He turned to look at his godson's face.

'Sirius... I just...' Harry used his Gryffindor courage to hold eye contact with Sirius. 'I.. Um..' He stuttered and Sirius' face softened. 'I love you, Sirius.' He whispered. He let out a grunt as Sirius immediately pulled him into a strong hug, his face pressed up against a warm chest.

'Oh Harry. Silly Harry.' Sirius mumbled kissing Harry's messy black hair. He rocked him gently and Harry's arms came around his waist.

'I've just... I've never told anyone that before.' Harry's voice was choked with tears. He sniffed.

Sirius squeezed his eyes shut. 'I've told you this before, about a thousand times but I hope you remember it this time, okay Harry?' Sirius again pushed Harry out to an arms length away. He had shameless tears leaking out of his eyes which were looking deeply into Harry's. 'I love you Harry. More than anything on the planet at the moment. You're all I have left and I've always loved you, even when I was having the love sucked out of me, I saved the lasts bits for you.'

Sirius kissed Harry's forehead before pulling him into another hug. 'Your mum and dad love you too. As do your grandparents. No matter what Harry James, we will always love you.'

Harry's arms tightened around Sirius' waist as he spoke aloud again. 'I love you all back, so much.' He let out a sob as he listened to his godfathers heart beat next to his ear.


End file.
